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From Homeless To Hollywoodan: Autobiography Of Gabriel Coleman-Matz


2012/11/03



As dictated to Mitzi Goodwin and Sara Matz

Hello! My name is Gabriel Coleman-Matz AKA “The Boss.” I am a gray, pleasingly plump, cross-eyed kitty destined for stardom. I have been asked to explain my hyphenated name and how I became the barn manager at Fair Meadow Farm. So, here goes!

Back when I was a young, homeless, naive, and thin kitten, I climbed into a warm car motor on a cold winter night. [Note to self: Put on a sweater next time.]

To make a long, very unpleasant story short, a very nice lady, Mrs. Coleman, found me and saved my life. When I was well enough to leave the veterinarian's office, she took me to Fair Meadow Farm where she knew I would have a good home. I was supposed to catch mice in the barn—but, boy, were they wrong! After just a short time in residence, it became clear to me that Mark and Sara Matz needed a live-in barn manager. And I was the man-cat for the job.

Even with my disability, double vision due to my crossed baby blue eyes, I am the best thing that has ever happened to Fair Meadow Farm. I shudder to think what will happen to the farm when I finally get my chance to go to Hollywood, but that is their problem. I have two great human assistants, Edgar and Gabriel (I guess he was named after me). They follow directions well and work very hard under my supervision, of course. I help by riding around on the wheelbarrow on top of the hay to keep the flakes from falling off as my men disperse hay to the horses. I also make sure that the subordinate cats under my direction are catching their quota of mice and birds. I occasionally borrow their catch to supplement my diet of cat food. I do need to maintain my fighting weight and am far too important to waste my time with such menial tasks.

Even though my strenuous and stressful job requires many long power naps, don't let it fool you when you come to Fair Meadow and find me asleep. I am always ready to assist riders with their horses and take visitors on tours of the barn. M y favorite thing to do is to help with any activities that involve the use of yoga mats, such as Pilates or the balanced riding clinic that was held recently at Fair Meadow.

Sadly for everyone at the barn, Fair Meadow is only a stop on the road for me on my journey to Hollywood, where my career as a feline movie star awaits. I have begun my journey many times in a car or truck or trailer, but the driver always returns me to Mark and Sara when they discover me in their vehicle. Can you help me get to Hollywood? Please call 1-800-STARCAT if you can help me achieve my ultimate career!

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