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Top 40 Signs You May Be a Horseoholic
2013/05/02
Your profile pic on Facebook contains a horse
There are more than 3 tack catalogs on your coffee table
www.MidSouthHorseReview.com is saved in your favorites
You spend more than an hour a day on horsetopia
You know every tack store within 200 miles of your house
You planned your wedding around a horse show
None of your children were born during show season
You will watch a movie just because there's a horse in it
Instead of skipping, you canter
You'd rather muck stalls than vacuum
You think mountain biking should be banned on weekends
You've gotten a clinician’s autograph
You don't subscribe to any magazines that aren't horse related
If you've ever coordinated an outfit to your saddle pad
Your divorce contained a custody battle for the horses
Your horse eats organic low starch feed, but your favorite meals after horse shows are at Waffle House
If you have ever sent a text message while loping
If your set of family silver includes a saddle and buckles
You accessorize your hair with hay
You know that a roll in the hay isn't romantic
Your horse’s shoes cost more than your own
Your favorite outfit includes whips and spurs
You can't parallel park, but you can put your trailer in the shed without having to pull forward more than 3 times
You plan your trail rides around your mare’s heat cycle
You know your horse’s birthday, but not your spouse’s
Your horse gets a new Baker blanket and you get a coat from Goodwill
Your horse trailer has more square footage than your first house
You spent $500 for a horse and 50K for your truck & trailer
You spent more on your saddle than your vehicle
Your co-workers know how many horses you have, but don't have a clue about your husband and 3 kids
You'll spend $10K a year to have your horse in training, but get furious about the cost of day care for your children
Your trainer knows more about family issues than your family does
Your horse sees the dentist more often than you do
You know the veterinarian’s phone number by heart, but can't think of your pediatricians name
You own more than 5 pieces of clothing with a horse on them
You've shared an apple with your horse and gave your horse the first bite
Your tax refund goes to the tack shop
If you've ever financed a saddle
If you've ever tasted sweet feed
RFD and HRTV are your favorite television networks
You know what alfalfa tastes like
If you live in a barn
You’re over 40 and still have a grudge because Santa never brought you a pony
You spend your vacation time at a horse exposition or equestrian ranch
And the NUMBER ONE reason you may be a Horseoholic:
If you’ve ever worn muck boots with your formal ball gown!
Many thanks to 2012 Germantown Charity Horse Show Queen Elizabeth Alexandria Foster for letting us share a humorous moment with our readers! Many thanks to Eric Gray for contributing his horse humor to our column.
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