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Top 40 Signs You May Be a Horseoholic


2013/05/02


By Eric Gray, Blackthorn Farms
 
Your profile pic on Facebook contains a horse

There are more than 3 tack catalogs on your coffee table

www.MidSouthHorseReview.com  is saved in your favorites

You spend more than an hour a day on horsetopia

You know every tack store within 200 miles of your house

You planned your wedding around a horse show

None of your children were born during show season

You will watch a movie just because there's a horse in it

Instead of skipping, you canter

You'd rather muck stalls than vacuum

You think mountain biking should be banned on weekends

You've gotten a clinician’s autograph

You don't subscribe to any magazines that aren't horse related

If you've ever coordinated an outfit to your saddle pad

Your divorce contained a custody battle for the horses

Your horse eats organic low starch feed, but your favorite meals after horse shows are at Waffle House

If you have ever sent a text message while loping

If your set of family silver includes a saddle and buckles

You accessorize your hair with hay

You know that a roll in the hay isn't romantic

Your horse’s shoes cost more than your own

Your favorite outfit includes whips and spurs

You can't parallel park, but you can put your trailer in the shed without having to pull forward more than 3 times

You plan your trail rides around your mare’s heat cycle

You know your horse’s birthday, but not your spouse’s

Your horse gets a new Baker blanket and you get a coat from Goodwill

Your horse trailer has more square footage than your first house

You spent $500 for a horse and 50K for your truck & trailer

You spent more on your saddle than your vehicle

Your co-workers know how many horses you have, but don't have a clue about your husband and 3 kids

You'll spend $10K a year to have your horse in training, but get furious about the cost of day care for your children

Your trainer knows more about family issues than your family does

Your horse sees the dentist more often than you do

You know the veterinarian’s phone number by heart, but can't think of your pediatricians name

You own more than 5 pieces of clothing with a horse on them

You've shared an apple with your horse and gave your horse the first bite

Your tax refund goes to the tack shop

If you've ever financed a saddle

If you've ever tasted sweet feed

RFD and HRTV are your favorite television networks

You know what alfalfa tastes like

If you live in a barn

You’re over 40 and still have a grudge because Santa never brought you a pony

You spend your vacation time at a horse exposition or equestrian ranch
 
And the NUMBER ONE reason you may be a Horseoholic:
If you’ve ever worn muck boots with your formal ball gown!
 
Many thanks to 2012 Germantown Charity Horse Show Queen Elizabeth Alexandria Foster for letting us share a humorous moment with our readers! Many thanks to Eric Gray for contributing his horse humor to our column.

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